I just committed one of the biggest mistakes most people make when they get involved in a long term relationship. I fell into the trap of giving up many of my own opinions and beliefs for the sake of my partner. I got so caught up in him that I lost my own identity. I gave up my social life with friends in order to spend time with him. I feel like I lost a part of who I am. I lost my personal identity. I started to feel as if I was slowly dissolving away. I didn’t realize it of course, until the relationship was over.
I feel in all my previous relationships I did a fantastic job of maintaining my own identity & was able to invest a good portion of myself into my other relationships. I was always able to share my life with that “special someone” & maintain a sense of personal fulfillment & happiness that wasn’t as a result of my relationship with my partner.
In healthy romantic relationships both partners need to be willing to compromise. We both did our share of compromising in the beginning. Than it constantly felt like a power struggle so, in the end I did all the compromising. I was so “In Love” that I ignored the “red flags” of his dominating personality and control issues.
I am a believer that whenever a relationship ends that there is a lesson to be learned. I have been mulling over my life lesson and I couldn’t figure it out. My dear friend Tim said, “My lesson is to be true to who you are & you haven’t been with Ken.” So, in my next relationship I will remember to hang onto my own identity in my "future committed relationship."
So, I now need to rediscover who I am again!!!